What do you hear every day?
What do you give out every day?
Appreciation or criticism?
Listening to Dale Carnegie today on my travels led to me thinking about the conversations we have around us and within us on a daily basis.
Criticism appears to result in justification of why an action occurred, or a result happened. Stop and think about your language you are using with your partner, your children, your work colleagues and your sub-ordinates. Are you using critical language?
Critical language does not have to be a full on telling off, it could be as simple as a sigh, a furrowing of the brow, or a sad smile. When you’re looking at an outcome, remember that the person has tried their best to do the job in hand (even if it is cleaning their room!).
Instead of expressing your disappointment or critique of the job as it’s completed, take the time to see what can be genuinely appreciated.
Appreciation addresses one of the core human needs that we crave, and that is of significance. We all wish to know we’re significant to others in our lives.
Imagine if you asked your partner to set out 6 things they wished for you to change in order for you to be a better partner. What would you like as answer?
Six problematic behaviours to change?
Or an answer that says I appreciate you and love you for the person you are?
I’m sure the second answer would be appreciated more, and lead to a strengthening of your relationship!
Make sure the appreciation you do give is genuine. We all have internal bull**** meters!!
Now, what about starting the day changing the language you speak to yourself? Could you imagine how wonderfully joyous your day would become if you give yourself genuine praise for the behaviours you have, for what you see around you and for how you approach everything you do today?
How much easier your day will seem if you are not criticising your every move and doing the merry dance of justification in your head as your day progresses!!